


but I will be the one you need

by SkyRose



Series: Femslash Ficlets [6]
Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Memories, POV Outsider, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 19:44:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18058838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyRose/pseuds/SkyRose
Summary: Carol and Maria through the years, as seen by Monica.





	but I will be the one you need

**Author's Note:**

> Literally wrote this after coming home from the theater, so, uh, here! Have some feels! I would advise watching the movie before you read. I don't think it'll make perfect sense without the movie's context.
> 
> For the prompt "decision" at femslashficlets.

In the early memories of Monica’s mind, it’s hard to separate Carol and her mom. Aunt Carol was always there, always at her mom’s side. There were times when Monica had to stay with her grandparents because her mom had to work. Sometimes it was days, sometimes it was months. The only constant was when her mom returned, Carol would too.

“Lieutenant Troublemaker!” her voice called as she climbed out of the driver’s side of her pickup. Monica ran towards her, giggling up at the blonde. Carol scooped her up and hugged her. “It’s been a while, have you grown a few more fingers?”

“No!” Monica shouted before screeching with laughter. “Guess what!”

“What?” Carol replied in a hushed tone.

“I am four!” Monica informed with a grin that revealed some of her baby teeth were missing.

Carol had smiled back before handing her over to her mom. It was a familiar movement to them. Natural and easy.

Monica wasn’t sure how old she was when she first noticed how uneasy they sometimes were. Monica probably didn’t even register it at first. But she eventually grew old enough to understand it, somewhat. That’s when they tried to hide it.

She had a bad dream. The one she often did. It was Aunt Carol, spilling deep blue water from her head and hands. Then it was her mother, in all black and silent. And then there was bright fire.

It didn’t make much sense. It frightened her.

She had padded her way to her mother’s room to find the bed empty. So, she went to see if Carol was asleep on the couch. She was stopped in the hall by the sounds of hushed arguing in the kitchen.

Her mother’s voice urgently whispered, “I thought you would understand. After everything with Frank—”

“I was here before and after Frank and I’m not planning to leave any time soon,” Carol replied. Monica poked her head around the corner to see them standing in the kitchen. Carol had her arms twists in front of her while her mom stood leaning against the counter.

“And I believe that _you_ believe that,” her mother stated. Monica could only see the back of her head, but she didn’t need to see her face to sense her frustration. “But I know you. If Lawson asks you to do something that _will_ kill you, you’ll do it.”

“I have a duty to—”

“You have a duty to me and my daughter!” Maria cut off in a tone that made Monica wince. “If you want us to be _this._ You have a duty to me and my daughter.”

“I don’t see you retiring from the force,” Carol replied, her shoulders tense.

“I’m testing jets, not fighting in a dangerous war,” Maria countered. “And I’m not asking you to retire. I just want you to think of me and Monica before accepting something risky. If you really want _this.”_

Monica knew what _this_ was. She was young but not that dumb. She recognized the glances, the lingering hugs, the soft-spoken words… And there was the stuff she wasn’t supposed to see.

“You’re asking me to make a decision on something that may never happen,” Carol scoffed. Her brown eyes weren’t focused on Maria.

“It will,” Maria croaked. “We both know that.”

Carol didn’t respond, didn’t decide, didn’t choose a side. She pushed herself forward into a passionate kiss with Maria.

Monica immediately turned away. She didn’t need to see her mom kissing anyone. She had hurried down the hall and back into her bed.

It didn’t happen often. Only once in a while did Monica witness the concrete proof, not the simple evidence. So, yes, she knew what Aunt Carol and her mom really were. Not just good friends.

And then her mom and Carol went away again, as they always did.

But only her mom came back.

She wore black for a week and barely said a word.

Eventually, they healed. Monica grew inches taller and lost more teeth. She wore Aunt Carol’s jacket and looked to the stars. Sometimes she’d catch her mom looking through the photo albums. She didn’t bother her then, even when she needed help with her math homework.

And then, Carol returned.

Monica was thrilled. Part of her knew. Part of her always knew. Her mom had come back, so Carol wasn’t far behind. It took six years, but she was back.

Her mom didn’t show the same pure joy.

“How much do you remember now?” Maria had asked Carol as Monica eavesdropped shortly following the black box recording.

“Enough,” Carol sniffed. “I’m sorry. I made the wrong choice.”

“No, no. The whole time I thought you _had_ to choose. I thought you’d either be the hero or… or mine and Monica’s. I never thought you could choose both. But, you can,” Maria paused to laugh. “I should have never underestimated you, Carol Danvers.”

“I can’t promise things will go back to how they were after all this,” Carol cautioned in response.

Things didn’t. Carol left to help the Skrulls. Monica saw them have a private heart-to-heart from a window before she left, but couldn’t hear their conversation. They kissed, which gave Monica hope. However, an hour later Carol was flying up in the sky. Monica watched the bright trail behind her. Like a shooting star.

Monica watched the night sky every night for an entire year. Each time she saw a shooting star, her heart skipped. When she finally did return, it wasn’t during the night. It was a warm summer’s afternoon. Monica and her mother were sat on the porch when a streaking light sliced the bright blue sky.

It was Carol Danvers, surrounded by power and fire. Her light was almost as blinding as the smile on Maria’s face.

Monica didn’t run to her when she landed. She let her mother go first. The two women embraced before kissing. When they parted, Carol caught Monica’s eyes. They shared a relaxed smile.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this slight ramble of a fic! You can find me on [dreamwidth](https://skyrosebud.dreamwidth.org/) and [ tumblr.](http://skywalkertvvins.tumblr.com/)


End file.
